Kathy was 49 when she came to live in our community. She had scraggly and graying brunette hair, a pot belly, and huge watermelon-sized boobs. She was severely mentally retarded and had the mind of a happy little six year old child. Kathy had a perpetual smile on her face and spoke with a goofy hehehe whenever she talked. Yes Sir, she was going to be very entertaining to a bunch of teen aged country boys.
Ted's folks built a large house up the road and provided foster care to troubled teen aged girls. It only stood to reason that all of the boys in the community would start hanging around up at Ted's. This went on for several years and Ted's place became like a second home to me. The girls would come and go and eventually they took in fewer girls and began to take in the mentally handicapped. That's when Kathy came to live amongst us. Back before political correctness crippled this country, there just didn't seem to be anything wrong with getting your laughs and entertainment at the expense of others. Who wouldn't find it funny when an old retarded woman would be standing in the kitchen laughing hysterically at herself balancing a spoon on her finger.
Kathy grew very attached to the family dog, Bummer. Bummer was a small dog with a flat pugged nose who's lower teeth protruded out beyond his upper lip. He had buggy eyes and long hair. He was a funny looking dog, but the two of them together –hilarious! Bummer also took to Kathy and would often sleep with her at night.
My brother Russ was up visiting Ted when Ted's cousin Alan showed up with a pair of walkie-talkies. Alan was always looking for something funny to do and would come up with some real crazy ideas about what was funny. The three of them cooked up a plan and set out to have a little fun with Kathy. Ted placed one of the walkie-talkies on Kathy's nightstand and turned it on. They could barely hold back their laughter while waiting for Kathy and Bummer to go to bed. When Kathy finally retired to her room, Alan scurried up the fire-escape ladder that was placed at Kathy's up-stairs bedroom window, to watch the event unfold. Ted and Russ quietly waited outside Kathy's door until her light went out and Kathy crawled into bed. After a short while, Ted keyed up his walkie-talkie and said, “Kathy! This is Bummer, it's too dark in here! Turn that light back on!”
Kathy dutifully followed Bummer's command and got up and turned the light back on. After a while Bummer said to Kathy, It's too light in here, I can't sleep. Turn the light back off!”
Bummer (Ted and Russ) had Kathy doing all sorts of things until it got so funny they couldn't key the mike without giggling. When Kathy stated laughing with Bummer, it was all over at that point. No one could watch Kathy talk to Bummer after that without chuckling.
Kathy brought great fun and laughter to us boys, especially when old Lloyd and Dave came along.
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1 comment:
well, i already want to read more. and now that your "ronin profile" has appeared on IMAO, you should get more traffic. i know i'll be coming back, so keep it up.
you are just a couple of years older than i, and i can't wait to see what else you have to say.
stop goofing around and write already.
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